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Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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While I’m working, I overhear some locals chatting. They’re talking about the new café on HaRoeh Street. Apparently, they got the best coffee in town. I’m like, “I need to check that out after this.” But first, I gotta deal with this rust monster.

Holocaust survivor, 99, visits graves of fallen soldiers every day: 'You can be proud of your heroic sons'